When I was five months pregnant I was going for my normal doctor appointments and so far everything was going well. I had just gone to my sonogram and a few days later I got a call from my doctor. She had informed me that my baby was going to be born with a cleft lip and a cleft palate. My heart sank to the floor, I thought how could this happen? What did I do wrong? These days you can tell physical birth defects from a sonogram so you know before the baby is born.

This gives parents plenty of time to adjust. The best thing you can do as a Mom is not blame yourself. About 1 out of 2,500 babies are born with a cleft lip or cleft palate. It has been reported that certain drugs and viruses have been contributed to these defects. Clefts are also hereditary; my cousin was born with a cleft lip and palate 27 years earlier. New Moms to be should not dwell on what caused it because you cannot change it. Your focus is to find out everything you can about the clefts and get educated.

Our Baby Aidan Before Surgery:

There are unilateral and bilateral cleft lips and palates. The thing to remember that no matter which one your child has been diagnosed with the birth defect can be repaired with surgery. The cleft lips are normally repaired anywhere from 3 months to 6 months and cleft palates are repaired from 9 to 14 months of age. While these are reconstructive surgeries and they are one of the most common procedures done on babies, it doesn’t stop the parents from stressing out and becoming worried.

How to Cope with Your Child’s Surgeries

The thing to remember is that your child will not remember these surgeries at all. Chances are if you have a great surgeon, they may not know they had any problems at all. The surgeries can take a toll on the parents. The idea of taking your baby into an operating room is very frightening. Just because the procedure is common and has been done a million times over, it doesn’t stop parents from becoming upset and scared. When my son had his cleft lip surgery at 4 months, it broke my heart that he had to go through it and I thought it was my fault he was going through it.

But as he went into surgery I felt better knowing that every time someone asked me who his surgeon was I replied Dr. Alexander Dagum, they all said I was lucky to have him. It put my mind at rest and that is one thing I want to share with parents who are going through this same thing is this. If it will make you feel better, do some research on the surgeon and what his qualifications are.

Do Some Research

The best way to put your mind at ease during the surgery is to read beforehand what the surgery entails. Read how the procedure is to be done, how long it takes and what you will have to do when your baby comes home. Your baby will need a few weeks to heal properly; your patience and love will be greatly needed.

By reading all of the information you can about what to do when your child comes home will be a great help to you. Keep in mind that when your baby heals they won’t need to use the Cleft Palate Feeders or special nipples anymore. Your baby will be on their way to eating better.

Other Effects of Cleft Lip and Palate

Once you get through the surgery, you may want to keep yours eyes open for other effects from the lip and palate. For example, your child may have trouble with speech, dental and nasal problems as well. Speak to your child’s doctor and discuss the effects that may occur as a result of a cleft lip and palate.

It is going to take a lot of patience and love to deal with cleft lips and palates. Not just for the baby but for the parents. Some children may require Early Intervention for speech issues. Some new parents find taking care of a cleft baby stressful and often times it can take its toll on a relationship.

Both parents have to be involved in your babies care and the important thing is that you take time for your selves. Whether you take a break together or separately, the important thing is to make the time. Don’t feel guilty for taking a few hours to yourself; it is essential to keeping it all together.